Sunday, May 5, 2013

A Bitch...with Manners

I recently saw Iron Man 3 in the theater, the 4:45 pm show. That was probably my first mistake.  I didn't take into account that children would be present and unaccounted for.  I never turned to see exactly who occupied the seat behind me, or the seats surrounding this future juvenile delinquent who will surely blame everyone else for whatever wrongdoings this miscreant is responsible for.  I didn't have to.  The constant kicking of my chair, pushing me forward and back, the sudden hard kick that causes me to jump...I didn't blame the small one in the seat directly behind me.  No, I blame the parents, or the adults in this kid's life.  They are doing this child a disservice that could cost this child his/her freedom someday, setting in motion this child's ability to blame everyone else, every external factor in this child's life, for what this child has done.  See, this kid didn't know any better, because the parents never stopped this child from kicking my seat.  So that made me wonder what other kind of bad behavior they are letting this kid get away with, out of guilt, or laziness or stupidity.  And that led me to think that we as a nation do not bother to teach our children basic manners anymore, and what a shame that is, and how badly that reflects on us as a nation, as well as individually. All that thinking I was doing instead of watching the movie is probably why I thought the movie was merely okay, instead of most excellent.  That really pisses me off, because I am all about Super Heroes, and Robert Downey Jr is totally hot.  Bad parents!  Go stand in the corner and think about what you didn't do!

I've always tried to be a nice person.  I hold open doors for men and women of all ages, I say please and thank you when applicable, I sympathize and empathize, I pray for others and think about them, I watch out for animals and children, and I still get upset over whatever roadkill I pass, or whatever habitat is being destroyed to make way for the latest failed strip mall.  I'm bound and determined to change my lifetime of evil ways and reconcile myself with all living beings by turning Vegan...or at least pescetarian until I can finally take that leap.  I find myself moving into a more spiritual place, where the violence of today weighs heavily on my soul.  I need to be in sync with all living beings, because we all have a right to live here without being tortured, neglected or murdered.  I try to have manners.

So why then am I, one of the quietest people currently existing on this wondrous planet Earth (unless you hit upon one of the points for which I am passionate about, and then I will unleash a fury upon you the likes of which no one has ever seen before, a tsunami of emotions that will pull you under and drown you before you can utter Oh shit!) labeled a bitch?  I wear my scarlet B proudly, a badge of honor, because what other choice do I have, really?  Denounce it? People think what they think no matter what I say or do, and once that idea, that bitch idea is in someone's head, well, there's no expelling it, no exorcising it, and frankly, that's their demon anyway.  I go home, take care of my dogs, feed my family that never leaves, go to sleep and get up to start all over again the very next day and so on and so on...well you get it.  

But, the question is, why do I have that label?  How did I earn it?  Am I a big meanie?  Do I kick puppies?  Weed eat my neighbor's prized petunias?  Spit in the boss's coffee?  Yell at my waiter (sorry, server, different era I suppose) or bring my cashier to tears?  Nope.  Why I am labeled a bitch is merely because I hold people accountable.  "What?"  you gasp.  "You bitch!  How dare you hold anyone accountable!  You probably expect them to be dependable and responsible too, and spell good.  Have you no shame?!?!?"   Yes, I expect them to spell well, and to punctuate, to write slowly, neatly and concisely, to be grammatically correct and to not be scatterbrained idiots...things might be gettin' a little bit clearer.  I also expect them to pay attention, focus, follow orders, learn from what those with more experience teach, do the job for which they were hired and to do it with professionalism.  And when they do something wrong, take responsibility for it, own it, learn from it and move beyond it.  I used to say a monkey could do my job, but then I realized I'm insulting intelligent monkeys everywhere.  The new crop of assistants, for whatever reason (lack of proper schooling, youth, ADD, laziness, uncaring attitude, or plain ol' stupidity) cannot do the job a monkey could do.  I mean, Koko the signing gorilla could assist circles around these kids.  I can't tolerate the blame game (it's not my fault, i didn't do it, it wasn't me, or the annoying blank stare...i work with a lot of nobodys, because Nobody ever does it.)  I can't tolerate horrible spelling (buy a dictionary, or shit, use your smart phone--which, btw, really makes you look dumb--to look up the word, or go to but know how to spell/punctuate).  I can't tolerate unfocused, unprofessional, unaccountable, irresponsible, undependable people with superior attitudes they don't deserve and certainly didn't earn. Repetition, concentration, anticipation and communication, sprinkled with a healthy dose of common sense (I've come to the conclusion that you can't teach common sense, and so many of these kids today lack it) and a dollop of humility, mixed together with a solid work ethic, strong moral values and compassion, and maybe, just maybe, you can do my job.  So, if expecting all that from a co-worker, if calling them out when they continue to make the same mistake over and over, if telling them the proper way to do something warrants an "okay" in a drawn out dry tone that indicates it is anything but okay, if expecting them to be on time, do their job and hold them accountable for such makes me a bitch, then I will gladly accept that title.  

But it gives me pause and causes me to wonder...why aren't there more bitches like me in the world?  This world could use 'em.  

I thank you for your time.  Have a good day.

"Whether you call it Buddhism or another religion, self-discipline, that's important.  Self-discipline with awareness of consequences."--Dalai Lama