Sunday, March 10, 2013

Where Do I Go from Here?

I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I look around, but it doesn't seem familiar.
This isn't what I had in mind.
It wasn't supposed to happen this way.
Who are you?  Why do you look surprised to see me?
Where did I put my keys?
I don't know how to get away when I can't run.
The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plains.

I forgot the part where I decide I deserve more.
Sometimes I don't want to be me.
Sometimes I'm scared I'm not me.
The guilt and sadness overrule the fun and happiness.
I have too many things I don't need,
but not enough of what I want.
And what I want is contentment.  peace.  joy.  laughter.
My heart is heavy and it hurts.
I'm lost, wandering around inside a place I don't want to be.
And it's about to close.
And the exits aren't marked.
And if I stay I will be stuck.  in the middle.

I am lonely when I'm not alone,
but when I'm alone I am not.
I am a dandelion seed waiting for a breeze.
I am one minute grain of sand in an hourglass
turned upside down, rushing to the other side
only to be turned upside down to do it all again.

I'll push you away because it's easier.
It's lonely at the top.  Is that why I stay at the bottom?
I can't see from here.
Life is laughing at my expense.  
It's not supposed to be fair.
It's not supposed to easy.
And who said it was supposed to be fun?
This isn't what I hoped it'd be.  

There's still hope for the flowers, trina.
It's in the heart and soul of those left behind.
They'll find it.  They have to.  It's all they have.