It's hard to accept that I will never know the love my parents shared for over 60 years. The respect, the loyalty, the teamwork, two people who wanted the same thing and built a life accordingly. We didn't have a lot of money growing up, but we had everything we needed. I will never know great love. That is heartbreaking, but it's my fault. I sold myself short. I accepted less than what I should have. But thinking about their love, their marriage, has me really questioning my own life, and how I want to live the rest of it.
Until I find a way to shake this dark cloud and find my way back to the rainbows, I will stand on the edge of this cliff and avoid looking down. I will look up--to God, to heaven, to my Mom, and try to find that reason, that purpose, that sparks the fire of passion in my soul, giving me something to fight for. I don't want to sit around waiting for death. That's no way to live. And I'm not ready to die.
There's no sign of the day
You've been left on your own
Like a Rainbow
Like a Rainbow in the Dark Yeah . . .
Your a Rainbow in the Dark."